If you’re not sure where to start, remember that open communication is the key to solving any problem. This is including keeping kids off drugs. You may want to shield your children from the difficult truth of substance abuse. However, avoiding the topic entirely may not have the effect you anticipate. When you avoid talking about alcohol and other drugs, it sends your kids the message that this is a taboo topic. This may lead them to avoid bringing it up. Even if it becomes an issue for them. 

As you’re well aware, kids don’t always have all the facts. If they do not hear it from you, then they may be getting false or harmful information elsewhere. Furthermore, if you avoid talking about the risks of substance abuse, your kids might not understand the harm in trying alcohol or drugs. Even though it may be hard, having a conversation will allow you to convey your feelings. Also, it allows you to establish rules and expectations surrounding substance use. 

You should not only tell your children that you do not want them to drink or use drugs, but why. Children are bound to test the boundaries of any rules you set. So it is important that they understand the consequences of their actions and why substance abuse is risky.  

Here are some examples of things to say when explaining how you feel and setting rules: 

• “I know you may be tempted to try drugs, but I also know you’re really smart. That’s why I expect you to avoid drugs—no matter what your friends do. Agreed?” 
• “It worries me to know how easily you could damage your brain or develop an addiction. Will you promise me you won’t try things just because the people you hang out with try them?” 

Make a Connection 

It is always a good idea to talk to your children before they are exposed to drugs and alcohol. When they hear the facts from you first, it can influence their attitude and behavior toward these substances later. This can and should be a continued conversation, not just a one-time situation. You can return to the topic as your child grows and new questions come up. When you show them through continued support and communication that you will be there for them when they need you, they will be more likely to talk to you about their concerns.  

It is crucial to not only talk about drugs and alcohol. However, also to develop a strong bond with your children at an early age even before substance abuse comes up in conversation. When you foster trust between you and your children, they are more likely to come to you when they have a problem. Adolescents who have a good bond with their parents have been shown to be less likely to engage in risky behaviors.  

Just remember that while a close relationship is important, you must still be a parent to your child, not a pal. You can be the person they come to with their problems. But you still need to provide them with rules, structure, and discipline. You should learn to safely supervise your children in a way that respects their boundaries. But while also allowing you to stay involved and recognize any developing problems.